Wow.. I’ve been off the “meat wagon” since February 21st, which was my birthday. Eating carbohydrates really, pardon my language here, fuck with my mind and body. I’m sitting here depressed beyond belief. I would imagine this is related, at least in part, to a feeling of failure. The last time I engaged in eating of carbs, I spent 3 weeks in a downward spiral and felt similarly mentally. I’ve no idea why I allow(ed) this to happen. Of course, the birthday excuse is the original reason behind the derailment, because YOU GOTTA HAVE CAKE on your birthday. 

After allowing yourself that “one thing”, the slippery slope just gets more and more slick. In a short time, it’s difficult to regain control.

Anyway, recovery mode is now engaged.

Back in 2012, long before I came to the realization that I was simply going to have to change in order to have any quality of life at all, my wife used to try and encourage me to walk a little more each day.  While this isn't a horrible idea at all, especially for someone that was over 500 pounds, my willingness to do this was absolutely zero.

One night the car was packed toward the back of the parking lot.  The whole time I was talking toward the car, I made a scene by spewing profanities and the like.  I must admit that this was not a good look for me.  In the end I apologized for my behavior.  Sadly, 2 more years would pass before I came to the realization that's gotten me to where I am today.

Long ago, before I moved to Canada and even before I had gastric bypass surgery, finding gainful employment was quite a challenge.  Saying this will likely come as no surprise, because many people have struggled and are struggling with this.  Now, let's take a look at my experience.

Back in the 90's I struggled to find a career.  This is partially to do with a lack of marketable skills, which I later worked to correct.  However, at this time I was working on the food service industry.  My positions ranged anywhere from dishwasher/bus boy to line cook.  During my time in this industry I worked at Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, Ponderosa and a local bar.  So, after working at these places, I didn't see there being much of a stretch moving to a "bigger" restaurant. 

That said, there was a large Italian food chain opening where I lived, so I decided to apply, seeing as I was without  employment at the time.  There was nothing unusual here as far as obtaining and filling out an application.  Providing I am remembering this correctly, after some time, I was contacted by the location management and an interview was scheduled.  My reason for saying this in the way I have, is that I very well could have been interviewed on the spot, I just don't remember the specifics of that portion of the process.

Here is where the experience differed for me verse someone that is more fit than I was at the time.  As always, there were the normal introduction type things that happened at the start of the interview, as well as discussions on work experience etc..  After all of this was done, I was asked if I felt that I could keep up with the work in their tight/fast paced kitchen.  In my head, this was clearly a commentary on my lack of physical fitness and sheer size.  Of course, I felt as though I could, seeing as I'd not long ago cooked in a kitchen, where I manned the operation alone for the night shift.

Obviously, I cannot say that the interviewer refrained from offering me a position due to my size.  However, based on some of the questions asked at the time, I would have to say that my size was definitely being taken under consideration.

Either way, I feel that I am better off for not having been given a/the position.  I later went to school to study Microsoft Network Administration and subsequently had a few positions that lead me to where I am now, with a world leading network security company.  I am not doing too bad for a guy that was once not given a chance to work at Olive Garden.

​#TooFatToFry